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Talk About It [Performed By Salma El​-​Wardany]

from Cheaper Than Therapy [Album] by Fisky

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Talk About It [Performed By Salma El-Wardany]

lyrics

We never wanted to talk about it
afraid that our talk would get us labelled for crazy talking
and suddenly you’re the talk of the town
and where did all the talking get us anyway
because talk of the Devil and that motherfucker still appears on your shoulder

They say a problem shared is a problem halved
but when I tell you about the way my Daddy died it didn’t bring him back

When I tell you
I’d like to bring him back just to kill him again
you back away from me like I’m the scene of the crime
I don’t see you around so much and I know it’s because I admitted to much
became a puzzle you could never compete
and no-one wants to hang around with someone who’s mostly broken pieces

We never talk about it
preferring to communicate with body language
which is why when I say
come over tonight
what I mean is
losing myself in the folds of your flesh
is the only way I know how to talk about it

When you come back with blood on your fist
because you punched your fears into another mans face
it was the only way you knew how to cry about it

It’s easier to live in the loud scream of someone else
than in the silence of your own self

The men I know
never made friends with silence
they know the sound of 3am sirens
of the word no
and how it echoes back at them
of pint glasses smashing and the exact sound of a skull cracking
the men I know
say silence is the sound that goes off just before the guns do
before you have to run to the front line
stand shoulder to shoulder
men in a line
biting tongues and spitting out lies
just to keep a version of a man alive
this is what a man is
hold the line, hold the line
you’ve watched men hold lines all your life

Stand in them swallow them or sniff them
it doesn’t really matter
you’re all holding onto something that isn’t real
the only line you ever really saw
was the one your friend used to cradle his throat
before he snapped his own neck and hung from the end of the washing line
and his open mouth is a silent scream you can’t stop hearing

The women I know
never made friends with silence
they know how loud a baby can cry when it’s hungry
what the debt collectors knock sounds like
how promises make the loudest sound of all when they break

The women I know
say silence is what they do when he wraps a hand around their throat
because anything else will make it worse
they know how to bite tongues and swallow refusals
as they listen to their footsteps pounding concrete floors
run faster, run faster, run faster
they can’t always run fast enough
and then their own screams become a sound you can’t stop hearing

So no
we don’t always want to talk about it
but silence is only golden if you can afford it
we
we can afford small talk and pillow talk
we talk shit and double talk
smooth talk and trash talk
fast talk and talk dirty
we keep talking the talk
talking shop and talking big
we talk to our girls and run it by our boys
wait for someone to straight talk and talk it over
and yes it might be cheap talk
but it’s cheaper than therapy

credits

from Cheaper Than Therapy [Album], released June 13, 2022
Written and Performed by Salma El-Wardany
Produced by: Jurrivh; Antun Vuic p/k/a tunnaBeatz [Collaborator]

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Fisky London, UK

Fisky is a Poet, Rapper, Public Speaker, Founder of Mind Over Matter and member of London’s #Flopoet collective mentored by Natalie ‘The Floacist’ Stewart.

Writing has always been Fisky’s therapist. He draws on his twenty years lived experience with addiction and depression to raise awareness and process his own struggles. ... more

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