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Hard To Breathe [Single]

by Fisky

/

lyrics

Head high but I’m barely treading water
pockets weighed down with self-doubt are always bound to cause a couple ripples
when diving head first in still rivers
chill, shivers, miss sunshine like Bill Withers
this sickness
sometimes I feel like burning bridges
and not being happy until I see them broken floating down rivers
finger on my triggers I consider sipping liquor
knowing all the lager does is make me sicker, sad and bitter
they said I’m difficult, he’s hard to be around
they told me just cheer up asked me why I’m always down
all I want is to be happy and feel love
but how can I control what I never knew I had no control of
mental illness took the driver’s seat
at thirty nine I finally see I’ve been a passenger in my own mind since sixteen
never knew why I couldn’t be or why they couldn’t see
how tiring it is to be me, sometimes I can’t…

Chorus

Who’s shame is this, take it back and the blame that came with it
the darkness I’m okay with it but answer me who’s brain is this
some days it doesn’t even act like we’re one in the same in this
a great abyss I swim the depths afraid I’m not afraid of this
if I could make one wish it’d be to have a pot to take a piss
life hit a major shift, reset, which made a rift
culled anger for sobriety to make me pissed
life tying my hands didn’t suit me so I tailored it
and made it fit - they can curse, make a fist
tell me I’m sitting in my trauma same as I would be on a waiting list
asked for help so many times - still I never made a list
they got me repeating words worse than a plagiarist
now they gotta reap eating words, cos my savior is
writing as a therapist - I’m seeing no debate in this
my pen has always been involved whenever I engaged with it
but engage with it I won’t because they broke a Will like Jada did

Inherited from my father shared symptoms and traits
we never spoke about it now he’s gone and it’s too late
drugs alcohol and violence
lacking vital guidance
I can’t stop the cycle but I can end the silence

credits

released October 3, 2020
Written & Performed by Fisky
Produced by Charles Edison

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all rights reserved

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about

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Fisky London, UK

Fisky is a Poet, Rapper, Public Speaker, Founder of Mind Over Matter and member of London’s #Flopoet collective mentored by Natalie ‘The Floacist’ Stewart.

Writing has always been Fisky’s therapist. He draws on his twenty years lived experience with addiction and depression to raise awareness and process his own struggles. ... more

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