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Isolation & I

from Cheaper Than Therapy [Album] by Fisky

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lyrics

Isolation and I
we’re friends
used to be best mates
been on and off since sixteen but he’s been back in my life of late
the only one who really knows me
the only one who’s been there at the lowest points
and highs
shared lines, beers and joints
spent so much time he’s reflected in my eyes
look closely, you can see


When no one has answers you stop asking questions
some things a text book can’t fix
the world doesn’t make sense
it makes me wanna hide
stay inside

when someone offers help I still say I’m fine
weeks of isolation to performing in front of crowds
panic attacks mid poem
they think it’s Fisky just playing around
not knowing my heart feels like it’s about to explode
mind racing, thinking about all the drugs that I’ve taken
early mornings, face placed in the basin
effects on my body and why my mind’s shaking
isolation ‘till my mind is actually aching

Broken and broke
hopeful but hope won’t pay rent mate
I can’t work a job I hate where I have to be fake
I was someone else for so long
this mask you can take

Sometimes we just wait

Sometimes, this depression I can’t counter it
I was the old me so long the new me’s starting to feel counterfeit
to the point my minds a broken abacus
you can’t count on it

Bear the weight

Plans in motion but standing still
for now, stay still
still, where there’s a will
the way will be clear
old ways their heads rear
remembering that day you broke
looking at that spot on the floor
the same room
the same mirror you didn’t recognise your face
so many times you answered the phone to death
sometimes a text or a Facebook message sent
the heights you’ve reached since
the lows that followed
sometimes I wish the ground I walk on was level just once

Messages get no response so you stop sending them
this picture they imagine but don’t paint
don’t say your inbox is open if it ain’t
everyone’s too busy
until it’s too late
put others first because
second place feels safe
drink and drugs on my mind
too much time to think
can’t un-see things in my mind
see them when I sleep
when I blink
so I stay awake
thinking about drinking
the only reason I don’t
is because I can’t afford to delve in
an idle mind invites the devil in
all it brings is pity to revel in
it’s hard to differentiate
so sometimes
we just wait

Use the space

Create

Sometimes

We just wait

Use the space

credits

from Cheaper Than Therapy [Album], released June 13, 2022
Written + Performed by Fisky
Produced by Jurrivh
Mixed + Mastered by Femi Santiago

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about

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Fisky London, UK

Fisky is a Poet, Rapper, Public Speaker, Founder of Mind Over Matter and member of London’s #Flopoet collective mentored by Natalie ‘The Floacist’ Stewart.

Writing has always been Fisky’s therapist. He draws on his twenty years lived experience with addiction and depression to raise awareness and process his own struggles. ... more

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